The first time I’ve held a crayon, a masterpiece was born. And by masterpiece, I mean a giant elephant with a bunch of carelessly drawn lines and shapes in different colours on the wall of our living room. **Sorry, ate, for stealing your crayons when i was four hekhekhek.** I thought my parents would scold me for using our wall as a canvas. Instead, they just laughed and asked me to help them interpret my oh-so-wonderful artwork.
There was the huge green elephant which was our fancy ride to school, and the house above it was actually my school because according to the 4 yr. old me “the elephant brought the school home with me so he wouldn’t have to give me a ride to school anymore.” And inside the elephant were random shapes with different meanings depending on my mood (lol, me). Blue waves, along with the yellow, brown, and black dots, was the beach. Beside the beach were odd looking monkeys, one in a blue shirt and the other one in red. Monkeys wearing clothes near the beach? Yes, i know.
Well, that magnificently drawn beach reminded me of Dingalan where I enjoyed collecting rocks and sea shells along the shore. We used to go there when I was little.
Back then, I found the shore more exciting than the ocean itself. I was small and I didn’t know how to swim (don’t judge hahaha). It was fun tho! But my sister had always found prettier rocks because she could get closer to the water without the fear of being attacked and eaten by the waves. And there I was on the shore with my mom holding my little “tabo” trying my best to fill it with rocks better than the ones my sister found, a.k.a. 4yr old me being competitive af.
Now that i’ve come to think of it, I realized how much I always wanted to stay along the shore. I didn’t care because i knew my sister would give me the pretty rocks she found anyway (again. lol, me). But as we grow, we also grow more fond of the ocean. Not only because of the prettier rocks, but also because of the thrilling waves and the vast possibilities that the ocean has to offer.
So we wanted to learn how to swim. And we taught ourselves how to swim. Or maybe we thought we taught ourselves how to swim, and feel like we know now how to swim. But as we go deeper and further, the pressure gets stronger and the risks get higher. Now we’re just so afraid of drowning, and everything just seemed more confusing than a little kid’s drawing. But getting stung by a jelly fish now felt more fulfilling than just having a vase filled with rocks and sea shells that you found without even sweating.
The risk keeps on getting higher, but it’s better than being left on the shore where you just get empty and duller.
(random thoughts) #throwback
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